Has anyone ever felt what I've been feeling for the past few months? The feeling like as if life has nothing to offer me. All my hopes and dreams, to graduate, be successful, get married, have kids  and last but not least, to not grow alone and unhappy. But as for now, those are only my dreams.. The reality and my future seems bleak.

It's like I don't know myself anymore. I get tired easily. I no longer enjoy the things I used to love. I dont even like being surrounded by people. I enjoy the solitude that I offer myself.

Then I'll think.. Think. What have I become? What happened to the carefree Elle who'd smile at anything and take happiness in the littlest thing in life? Like merely having McDonalds fries, a cup of ice cream or a cupcake would make me the happiest girl, even if it's temporary. Look at me now. I succumb to eating processed and junk food only when I'm depressed hoping I'll feel better, but I doesn't. I only push my problems away. Push the people whom I love and love me back.

Maybe in a way, I am selfish afterall.