I don't get the trend nowadays. Does it make you cool, "hipster" or "swag" by talking to someone with a degrading tone?

I am honestly so sick of people giving me snide and sarcastic remarks, and insults. Is it so hard for people nowadays to talk to each other like normal human beings? Is it necessary to add the sarcastic tone and hurt someone's feelings? Is it?!

Usually I'd just brush it off and forget about it, but when I'm hurt over and over again, there's a buildup anger that I don't realize I have. My patience and tolerance has its own limits. You dont expect me to tolerate you for your own benefit. If I am able to talk to you with respect, why can't you do the same?

Tsk. People nowadays. I am so fucking fed up already. Just because I'm used to pronouncing words a certain way (which may be wrong, but I am open when people try to correct me), but making fun of me repeatedly isn't helping me in any way at all.

Yeah, I know I don't go to clubs, I don't drink (i'm still learning, lololol), my English is deteriorating because I'm trying so hard to embrace the Chinese in me (learning the language and dialects, and I hafta start somewhere ; swear words, the slang, etc). You may not understand, but it's okay. I'd rather just keep quiet, than opening my mouth and getting a verbal slap on the face. No thanks.

Frienemies

I know it's very childish of me to say that, but it kinda feels like it, yknow. 

Dear Terence, 

first of all, I'm really, really sorry for not wishing you on your birthday. I feel so terrible, I could just die.. It was an honest mistake, because I really did remembered your birthday. I guess giving excuses isn't gonna do much justice because bottom line is, I am a terrible, terrible person. I don't think I even deserve to be called a terrible friend because well, we haven't been "friends" lately. 

You're probably too busy enjoying life there with your friends, and you probably forgot about me, but I really wish you'd know just how guilty I am. Since last year when you left, until now. I never stopped feeling guilty for being this way. I guess you know, I'm selfish like that. When I'm caught up with something, I shut everything else out and focus on myself. 

I just hope someday things will be back to how it was. Maybe it will, maybe it wont, but I'm not gonna just give up. I'm really sorry. I hope you'll at least forgive me.

Wow. It's been two months since I last posted something here. So much for wanting to keep this tiny space I have alive, huh. Hahaha.

Anyways, things have been going really great recently. The boyfriend (yes, boyfriend) is finally back from the UK, and I've been seeing him everyday since. Kinda ditched my friends a little bit, but I promise I always try to make time for them when they ask me out. :)

Incase you're wondering what's been going on lately..

1. Boyfriend celebrated his 22nd birthday this year.

Yes ok haha that is us. Picture on the left was taken about almost exactly a year ago at Hilton KL. Right was just recently during his birthday lunch at Hilton PJ. We had a lovely Japanese buffet lunch with his family. It was looooooovely. His birthday was also the day he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, which I personally don't really think it's necessary, but since he wanted it that way, hey, I wouldn't mind, haha.

2. Machines @ KLCC finally (FINALLY) closed down for renovation.

Panorama shot of the store a day before we officially close down. So much memories there! Definitely a bittersweet moment tearing the place apart, but since it's for the sake of revamp-ing it, I'm pretty excited! Also, I'm not jobless. Howie transferred me to Lot 10, but after working there for two days, I honestly do not want to go back at all. 

3. Went to Bangkok!

 Excuse us, haha. Top left picture was in the plane. Wasn't much of a long journey, but we were really bored, and he slept 3/4 of the time.. Top right was when we were in Siam Paragon. There, we had the amazing-est toast ever at After You. I can literally taste it in my mouth just by the thought of it... (: Bottom pictures was when we were in MK having uh, lunch-dinner. haha. Other than that, I just had a really good time shopping and travelling with him. Phuket in less than 10 days! So excited.

:)

That's all for now! 

Lost.

I feel so lost. 

I don't know what I'm doing at times.

And at times, I feel like becoming the old me again. But I'm not sure if I want to be that person again. 

See what I mean? Lost.

I want to be happy. Worry-free. I don't want to be emotionally disturbed all the time.

It's so so so so tiring to be extremely happy at one point to suddenly feeling like the whole world'a crashing down on me. 

I don't want to be so negative all the time, thinking everything is bad and will be bad. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it.

I don't know who to blame. I don't know what to do. 

Wow, I just realized it's been a month since I last posted something here..

There are so many things that I wanted to say, but never actually gotten the time to sit down and type.

College has been hectic since it's a short semester, a 3 months course getting cut down into 7 weeks is just absurd. Quizzes, assignments and reports every week. God knows how I manage to get through the whole semester.

I'm somehow really proud of myself though. I did relatively well for Chemistry II. So much better than Chemistry I, even I myself cant believe it. It's amazing, really.

In other news, going back to work in about a week, the boyfriend is coming home in two weeks, Phuket in a month. Ah, such an exciting semester break!